Just Another Random Ramble

Just Another Random Ramble

I know that I am a strong woman;

my tenacity and endurance are tireless

my capacity to persevere

through the most demanding & wearisome

of circumstances has been tried & tried again;

and I have stood strong against all life threw at me.

oh there have been times

when I’ve come close to breaking

many many times…

times when I tried my best

and still couldn’t see a way through

the dilemmas at hand.

but somehow I’d hang on tighter

with teeth and nails

and seething

determination

and weather the storm to its very end;

I have gone hungry too many times

and I’m not talking about skipping a meal

I’m talking black coffee for 3-4 days

so the children could eat

or scraping the meagre scraps

from their plates

lying to them by saying I had eaten

a big lunch;

I have been beaten

degraded

abused

used

abandoned…

I have lived with no

water

or phone

or power….

I washed clothes by hand

for four children

for years

after the washing machine

blew up….

I know my heart is huge

I want to love the world

I do love the world

I love to love

it feels good

makes others feel good

I love peace

and the laughter of children

it breaks my heart

because I know that there are children

in this world who do not laugh

children who have never laughed

and I am powerless to help them

I love the morning sun

the setting sun

the uncontained delight of birdsong

I love rain on my face

kisses on my face…

I love walking bare foot

and stomping in puddles

I love cuddles.

this is who I am

I understand me;

what I don’t understand

is why have I been emotional all week now

I don’t understand this daily… hourly

disintegration

into tears.

sharonlee©

1-Aug-11

From 16-18

From 16-18

I spent much of my life as an itinerant worker

staying a couple of days here

a few weeks there

in order to pad my pocket and fill my belly…

I worked in a milk bar in Freemantle

long enough to rent a bedsit

and get a feel for the city…

it was a good place for a country girl

to experience city life

back then it wasn't so hectic

and maintained a lot of parklands

where I could replenish my spirit…

I did a day's work cleaning the pub in Cooper Pedy

desolate opal town that it was/is

just to get a feed and some supplies to take on the road…

back in those day's water was still free…

and smiles freely given…

in Alice Springs I started my nurses training

but that didn't last long

I was unused to being inside all day

uncomfortable in stockings and closed in shoes

was always getting reprimanded

for spending too much time with patients

and for trying to augment my diet

with uneaten food from patients trays….

so I hit the road again

wandering without destination from one corner

of Australia to the other…

life seemed so uncomplicated back then

only responsible for feeding myself

and avoiding trouble…

I camped on a cliff overlooking

the Great Australian Bight

one star lit night

just me and the ocean and prehistoric vibrations…

the chances that any other white girl had ever slept in that spot

were completely non-existent…

I liked doing things like that in my youth

and truth be told I would love to do it again….

perhaps with company of a close friend…

can you imagine that….?

…. unseen from any road…

hundreds of miles from any trace of a modern world

no need for clothing

no need for anything except the company

of a warm blooded male

or female,

depending on who you are and where your preferences lay…

making love (or whatever you care to call it)

to the melody of the surging ocean

and the whisper of an untainted breeze….

…it's something I'd like to do before I shuffle off

this mortal world…

share a star lit night like that

in a place like that -

- with someone special….

sharonlee©

2011