Just Another Random Ramble

Just Another Random Ramble

I know that I am a strong woman;

my tenacity and endurance are tireless

my capacity to persevere

through the most demanding & wearisome

of circumstances has been tried & tried again;

and I have stood strong against all life threw at me.

oh there have been times

when I’ve come close to breaking

many many times…

times when I tried my best

and still couldn’t see a way through

the dilemmas at hand.

but somehow I’d hang on tighter

with teeth and nails

and seething

determination

and weather the storm to its very end;

I have gone hungry too many times

and I’m not talking about skipping a meal

I’m talking black coffee for 3-4 days

so the children could eat

or scraping the meagre scraps

from their plates

lying to them by saying I had eaten

a big lunch;

I have been beaten

degraded

abused

used

abandoned…

I have lived with no

water

or phone

or power….

I washed clothes by hand

for four children

for years

after the washing machine

blew up….

I know my heart is huge

I want to love the world

I do love the world

I love to love

it feels good

makes others feel good

I love peace

and the laughter of children

it breaks my heart

because I know that there are children

in this world who do not laugh

children who have never laughed

and I am powerless to help them

I love the morning sun

the setting sun

the uncontained delight of birdsong

I love rain on my face

kisses on my face…

I love walking bare foot

and stomping in puddles

I love cuddles.

this is who I am

I understand me;

what I don’t understand

is why have I been emotional all week now

I don’t understand this daily… hourly

disintegration

into tears.

sharonlee©

1-Aug-11